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| 09:44pm 01/07/2007 |
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You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out. |
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| 09:27pm 24/06/2007 |
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I think I am okay with being alone. Just when I think I am okay, something new pops up that makes me rethink it. My cousin is getting married. That officially makes me the only single one left. Even the younger ones are engaged or married already. Five years ago this wouldnt have fazed me in the least. I have my wonderful son. I couldnt ask for a better kid really. So he is all energy all the time but sharp as a tack and just plain fucking brilliant. I do someday want a daughter. God knows my son as an only child would be dangerous to the world. Way too much ego to release into the air. I think I just need a good night's sleep. I am so tired and lost that I cant seem to think straight.. |
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| 09:21pm 30/04/2007 |
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So I cant say how much fun saturday afternoon was. I was pleasantly surprised at the array of sushi choice. I was also delighted to watch a four year old and her adult dolly counterpart. I wish I could have stayed longer.
After the Birthday party, I picked up my baby sitter's daughter...OH MY GOD can we just call her OniKakiri (Demon squirrel)? I thought for sure my roommate was going to kill her and put her in a closet. I took her home about 5 am sunday morning after getting two hours of sleep. I figured let her mommies deal with it. Her mommies owe me one more babysitting, I am going to make it good and cut off the agreement. I really don't need to deal with this little demon. |
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| crazy days, silent nights |
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| 11:30pm 10/02/2007 |
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It never occured to me that maybe in the scheme of things that I wasn't ever enough. We are told as children the harder you work the better the payoff. I work hard, my payoff is very minimal. Is it worth getting up at 3 30 every morning. Am I good enough to be there. Does anyone care if I am missing. These arent really questions, more statements of desperation. I wonder if anyone would stop and wonder where I was. I can only guess that most would not. Hell there are days I wonder if my own child would even notice. I really think some people keep me around to be their fill in person. " oh so and so flaked, wanna hang out?" It's never a true invitation. Not that I could really accept one anyway. I am over here alone in mommie land. I have a roommate (mind you two steps from being financially ruined) who plays friend instead of being my sons dad. I am fed up with his lack of ambitions. I am fed up with his bad habits. I am so fed up with him thinking that I should give him half of my tax return because he feels like he paid for half our son. Okay when he pays for half the groceries, half the towels, sheets, blankets, toilet paper, shampoo, soryns clothes, soryns daycare then we can talk about who gets what. He thinks that him buying a few legos and paying rent covers half of soryn. HELL NO.
It also never occured to me that I would be alone. I have never had issues getting a date...until recently. I am looking at the pool of available men (that are straight) and thinking to myself that they are single for good reason. They want a mommie figure who will pay for them. They want a woman who will turn a blind eye to their indiscretions. The want the woman to stay young and trophy like and work her ass off. They dont want any responsibilities or as little as humanly possible. They want to play the ps2 all day and guitar all night. They are on all sorts of medications because they cant handle life and they cant make any sort of move without mommie. When you do find one that is ambitious, you cant pull them away from their jobs. They are work a holic who only think about personal advancement and they cant show emotions towards other. The only thing that seems to matter is their feelings only. They want what they want and dont want to compromise. I am so tire of doing things for everyone else. I dont mind doing some things but sometimes its my turn. Sometimes its their turn to step out of the comfort zone not because its what they love its who they love and its for that person they love. I guess I am just bitter and old. |
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| so yoinked from jennasu |
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| 10:10pm 05/01/2007 |
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Your results:
You are Mystique
| Mystique |
| 65% |
| Venom |
| 64% |
| Dr. Doom |
| 52% |
| Mr. Freeze |
| 50% |
| Poison Ivy |
| 45% |
| Two-Face |
| 45% |
| Magneto |
| 44% |
| The Joker |
| 42% |
| Catwoman |
| 40% |
| Apocalypse |
| 40% |
| Dark Phoenix |
| 37% |
| Lex Luthor |
| 34% |
| Green Goblin |
| 33% |
| Riddler |
| 25% |
| Kingpin |
| 23% |
| Juggernaut |
| 21% |
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Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.
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Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
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| 11:12pm 30/12/2006 |
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mood:  depressed music: sarah possession
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Another year, and where has the time gone. I am sitting here wondering why in the hell am I home on a saturday night. Oh well I guess that isnt important. What is important is I am now well. No more treatments..No more puking. I really hope this year is better than the last. Its a fucked up year when the love of your life skips out when you need them the most. The funniest part is I have no idea why. All I get to know is that he isnt feeling like himself and that is supposed to be good enough. I am slowly watching everyone I know get married. I am watching them buy houses. I am watching everyone get their happy ending. I got a cat. I got an okay credit score. I got alot of lonely nights. I feel like when I go anywhere, I cant take my son because noone wants kids around. I also feel like a party blower due to the fact that I get up at 330 am and well staying out late is almost impossible. Mission impossible. I think the most disappointing day this year was my birthday. Two friends got the day wrong. Father didnt call. Mom remembered but had time for only a once sentence conversation. Blah. I tried to make plans again this year...third year in a row mind you.........and was alone. Christmas was only disappointing because I was alone. My son and his father went to the crazy girlfriends house. They had breakfast and presents and movies all day. I sat at home with dark chocolate and bad reruns. In fashion...noone answered their phones.
New Years resolution..I just wont call. Obviously I am meant to be alone on the holidays and if I am the only person making an effort in this to keep in contact. I cant keep friendships alive by being the only one trying. I thought I had amazing friends and this year when I have needed all of you...noone was there. I cant say how much love I have put out there. I cant say how much I hurt..I dont think that words due it justice. Off to take a bath. Oh and for the beautiful wonderful goddess who is getting married in the fall..I am taking cake decorating classes just for your cake.That is if you need it. I have made two wedding cakes already but I think I need classes to give it the justice you deserve. |
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| 05:24pm 14/12/2006 |
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Part 1: The Birth of You
Were you a planned baby?: No
Were you the first?: so i am told but my dad was a whore so who knows
Who was present at your birth?: My mother and the hospital staff.
Were your parents married when you were born?: yes
What is your birthdate?: december 23rd.
Part 2: The Family
Are your parents married or divorced? bio dad and mom divorced the man i call my dad married
An only child?: no
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: oldest so i am told
What are your sibling's names?: jessica, angela, dallas, missy, sarah
Which parent do you get along with best?: Depends.
What do you fight about?: not much anymore.
Do you have step parents?: let me remind you my bio dad is a whore
Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: yes
What do you like to do when you are together?: gab and laugh and dance and act a fool
Do you share the same interests?: sometimes
Which friend can you tell anything to?:all of them
Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: my ass is as wide as a grocery cart...what do you think.
Do you get depressed about things easily?: Yes.
Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?: I'm both.
Are you happy?: better now than in the past
Do you live life to the fullest?: i have a four year old ....right
Part 5: Appearance
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: see above
Describe your hair.: black with lots of grey, straight and unmanagable
How do you dress?: first i put on my bra then my undies then one leg in the pants......
Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: Yes.
What did you used to love that you no longer do?: raw meat
Do you have the same friends?: some of them
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: Yes. duh
Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: to grow up and die
Are you scared of growing old?: No.
Do you want to get married?: Unsure.
Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Depends who and what is indoors.
Favorite Season: summer
Do you like walking in the rain?: Yes.
Part 9: Food
Are you a vegetarian?: working my way to it
What is your favorite food?: my moms special salad .
What food makes you want to gag?: raw squid
What is your favorite dessert?: Ice cream.
What is your favorite restaurant?: Abhiruchi's
Are you a fussy eater?: see comment on my ass
Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: Single.
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: vibrator deluxe
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: Love, yes.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: i believe something happens at first sight not sure what though.
Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?: . surviving Adam
What was one of the worst?: living with Adam
Have you ever done drugs?: not in a very long time.
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: Yes. more times than I can count. |
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| and i have known this for years. |
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| 08:14pm 27/11/2006 |
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Isis
Honorable, straightforward and idealistic. Active and self-confident.
Colors: male: white, female: blue
Compatible Signs: Osiris, Thoth
Dates: Mar 11 - Mar 31, Oct 18 - Oct 29, Dec 19 - Dec 31
Role: Goddess of motherhood, women, and magic; goddess of the South; protector of Imseti (the son of Horus who watched over the canopic jar containing the liver)
Appearance: Woman wearing the hieroglyph for "throne" on her head
What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries
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| i only posed because of him! |
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| 01:50pm 19/11/2006 |
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 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In June I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). In October I gave ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) zebulingod a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In November I bought porn for suckedbackin (-10 points). In March I put gum in ayalas's hair (-12 points). Last Friday on a flight to Vancouver, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-143 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!
Sincerely,
oneblackraven |
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| what is wrong with me |
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| 06:18pm 31/10/2006 |
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so months now he hasnt called. two and a half years to not even get a fuck off or anything. the worst part is that i had to go through treatment without him. just at the word cancer he ran. so now after months and months of wanting , wishing , waiting... i got on eharmony. i am not sure if this is a great idea or a crazy one. part of me says i am not giving him the benefit of the doubt but part of me said fuck it ...you went through treatment alone. and now everyone i know is dating someone...including jose and my son!! my son holds hands with this little girl and he kisses her on the cheek all the time. that is more action than i have seen in months. why cant i meet someone normal and someone who doesnt just seem to be a great person but actually is. |
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| 03:50pm 04/10/2006 |
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RED:
Closest red thing to you?: paint brush
Last thing to make you angry?: customers
Do you have a temper?: Sometimes.
Are you a fan of romance?: too much so
ORANGE:
Closest orange thing to you?: gold fish cracker
Do you like to burn things?: Yes.
Dress up for Halloween?: duh
Are you a warm hearted person?: Yes.
Do you have anything against ginger hair?: No.
Are you full of energy right now?: never.
YELLOW:
Closest yellow thing to you?: butter
The happiest time[s] of your life?: Id have to say the day my son was born
Favourite holiday?: halloween
What makes you smile?: chocolate.
Are you a coward?: sometimes
Do you burn or tan?: tan baby
GREEN:
Closest green thing to you?: porcelain face
Do you care about the environment?: Yes.
Are you jealous of anyone right now?: very
Are you a lucky person?: Y not very
Do you always want what you can't have?: I always want something I can't have.
Do you like being outdoors?: Ja.
BLUE:
Closest blue thing to you: jewelery box
Are you good at calming people down?: Yes.
Do you like the sea?: Yes.
Last thing to make you cry?: life
Are you a logical thinker?: I am either perfectly logical or perfectly illogical. Never in between.
Can you sleep easily?: no
PURPLE:
Closest purple thing to you?: dinner lollies bought for gifts
Do you like mysterious things?: Yes.
Ever met anyone in royalty?: yes a dutchess and a countess
Are you creative?: useful moreso than creative
PINK:
Closest pink thing to you?: my sweater.
Do you like sweet foods?: Yes.
Like play-fighting?: yea
Are you sensitive?: Yes.
WHITE:
Closest white thing to you?: tmobile box
Would you say you're innocent?: No.
Always try to keep the peace?: Yes.
How do you imagine your wedding?: at this point i try to forget i should have one.
Do you like to play in the snow?: No.
Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists?: Yes.
BLACK:
Name the closest black thing to you?: my purse
Ever enjoy hurting people?: No.
Are you sophisticated or silly?: Alternately both.
Afraid of death?: No.
Would you like to go to space?: yeah
Sup #1....
2. What was your most recent vacation? palm springs
3. What did you do at your last birthday party? never had one
4. Ever have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes.
5. What did you have for lunch today? burrito over nuked
6. How's school going for you? done over ten years
7. How do you feel about your physical appearance? eek
8. Do you stereotype? I try not to.damn emo kids
9. What's your favorite TV show? csi
10. Do you have an Incredibles phone? No.
11. What color are your eyes? brown with blue ring around them
12. Are you watching TV? No.
13. Do you like black and white pictures or color? Both, definitely.
14. What colors do you like to wear? Black mostly. purple and pink too
15. Do you own any American Girl dolls? Never.
16. Have you seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin? yes and i know a 36 year old one
17. If so, what did you think? ---he should have kept waxing
18. Do you watch Tyra? who is tyra
19. Do you read the dictionary for fun? Yes.
20. How much homework do you get? none.
21. Do you like Campbell's soup? No.
22. Do you eat crackers with soup? I have.
23. What's the craziest costume you ever wore for Halloween? i was elvira
24. Do you like the smell of candles? Yes.
25. Are you a virgin? No.
26. If so, are you going to wait until you're married? No.
27. Are you listening to music right now? Yes.
28. What's the last song you listened to? this time youve gone to far..no idea the artist
29. What are you thinking about right now? sex with a stranger....any takers
30. Are your parents still together? Yes.
31. Do you watch House?yeah
32. Do you hang out with friends alot? Yes.
33. What's the last movie you've seen? barn yard
34. Have you ever been in a car accident? no
35. How do you feel about 9/11? The true tragedy has been forgotten by those unaffected and instead the event has been used as a vague concept to control people and silence them when they want to oppose invading small countries.
36. What computer games do you like to play?: too many
37. Do you sleep with a night light? No.
38. Do you chew gum alot? No.
39. Do you play guitar? Sometimes.
40. How long have you had an xanga? i got rid of that with pennicillin didnt i
41. How did you come up with the username? it fits me.
42. What does your username mean? Nothing.
42. Have any inside jokes with friends? Yes.
43. Do you have a walk-in closet? Yes.
44. How do you feel about guys wearing makeup? Fine.
45. Are you wearing a jacket right now? No.
46. When's the last time you been sick? A few months ago.
47. Have you ever dumped someone/turned someone down? Yes.
48. Who is your biggest crush right now? chris
49. Are you in a feud with someone right now? Yes.
50. Do you have a myspace?: Yes. |
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| my name |
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| 12:44pm 24/09/2006 |
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| If You Were Born in 2893... | 
Your Name Would Be: Ara Laif
And You Would Be: A High Priestess / Priest |
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| well i guess its me through and through |
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| 10:06pm 27/08/2006 |
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mood:  crazy
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| You Should Be A Capricorn | 
What's good about you: hard working and ambitious, you're practically a guaranteed success
What's bad about you: you can be unforgiving toward people who fail you
In love: you're very picky, but extremely devoted to the one you choose
In friendship, you're: likely to be a good friend but expect a lot in return
Your ideal job: rock climber, sculptor, or practitioner of black magic
Your sense of fashion: preppy and put together
You like to pig out on: meat and potatoes |
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| when should i sleep |
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| 08:38pm 22/08/2006 |
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mood:  jubilant
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i just cant seem to sleep. i am so excited the guy down stairs is getting arrested for his theivery that i am just giddy! i cant sleep at a time like this! finally one of those assholes who steal the ups deliveries from apartments is going down. i am pressing charges for all the people who lost stuff and never got it recovered. oregon is seriously harsh state. even though it would be considered theft two, the federal law says its forgery and mail fraud so this petty crime in this kids eyes just went to a class b felony in no time flat. he is looking at time and fines out the ass not to mention eviction. |
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indifferent